she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
