Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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