Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Randomize