This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
