hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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