i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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