2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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