I bet he comes in French.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
