Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
