I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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