I think i sorta joined a cult last night
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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