A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
