he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
