I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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