About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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