Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
