Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
