Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
