In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
