OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
