I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
