Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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