He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
