oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize