Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
