bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
