I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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