I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
