He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
