Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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