I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
