just survived the first fart of the relationship.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
