Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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