that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
this just has baby written all over it
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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