Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
