she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Why can't burritos get me drunk
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
