Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
