Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
