Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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