honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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