mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
