turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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