My liver just broke up with me...
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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