mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
