grandma shit on top of the toilet
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He felt like a one man threesome
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
