so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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