she takes plan B like it's going out of style
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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