I love black thongs
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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