Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
