I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
