Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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