she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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