There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
