There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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